Tech Chatter Gifts

"We're very worried about Huawei and exactly how to pronounce it."

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"We don't talk anymore."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

How logos change over time.

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

The Smartass Phone

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

Facelook

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

Fancy Interfacing with you here.

'Invasion of privacy.'

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

"What happens if you get the headphones in the wrong ear?"

"I am a control freak."

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'We know it makes you happy, but your father and I think you're spending too much time on the computer.'

'You're insecure because your data is unsecured.'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"It's not you, it's me – I automatically updated overnight and we're no longer compatible."

In my day, we had to walk five miles uphill in the snow for high speed Internet access.

'I can point, but I'm afraid to click!'

"I suppose in your day, you would have called these, 'radio dinners'."

Maybe Those Bots Can Be Used for Good

'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'

"The autocorrect function is redundant for me. I'm married."

"He had a close brush with fame when Scarlett Johansson's chatbot told him to go away."

"Don't feel bad. Even I don't understand me."

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'