Computer Whiz Prints

'Did you try unplugging it and plugging it back in?'

'According to Einstein' theory, if we move the computer real fast, we can go back in time and recover the files you accidentally lost.'

"The bunny did not get the job because the bunny is cute. The bunny got the job because the bunny knows WordPerfect."

Due to recent technological advances, everything I taught you about computers is no longer valid.'

'I have to do my homework now, Mom, I'll help you with the computer when I finish.'

'Help!'

"You'll soon get the hang of the simple Linex 3968X with 4936.." Norman began to think he might be better suited to a career in double glazing."

'I'm a software engineer, so I can confirm it works by magic.'

'He wants a system with lots of memory,but without a mouse.'

After the upgrade, crashes were far less frequent and seldom fatal.

"I'm making sure my hard drive's car of any data."

'You spend 90 hours a week on that computer so as your best friend, it's my responsibility to tell you to GET A LIFE!'

'OK, first of all, have you tried slamming the keyboard down, whacking the top of the monitor and shouting WORK! DAMN YOU! WORK!'

'You have reached our 24-hour tech support line. Please call back at another time. We are here to serve you 24 hours, but not in a row.'

'It could be that it's not plugged in, but that would be too easy.'

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

"They found a defect in the new chip. Looks like someone was asleep at the itty-bitty, teeny-weeny switch."

'Mayday, mayday, we have lost control.'

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'It's an optical illusion. From the front of the room, they're all busy students working on computer projects. From here though they're all busy playing internet games.'

"Cancel that call to tech-support. This may be beyond their capabilities."

Human Error, Stupid (computers)

U.S. Military Recruitment: We're looking for a few good men and women who can hack!"

Devil to computer salesman: 'Does it come with firewire'

'Ms. Trent, would you go down to the third grade and get one of the computer techs?'

Error 404: Image not Found.

"Keep your eyes on your own screen."

"We're in, the Pentagon Christmas party guest list"

Why can't you just buy some extra memory like everybody else?

Computer: 'Not guilty by reason of electronic manipulation.'

Computerized House

'That's the workstation we use for district assessment scoring, or on a slow day, for playing solitaire.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

'Dude, you spend 90 hours a week on that computer. So, as your best friend, I feel it's my responsibility to say to you - GET A LIFE.'

Human-Computer Interaction