Web Wiz Gifts

So Sadie has her own interactive website called Ask Sadie. So? You don't have an interactive site. That means Sadie is more technologically advanced than you. Noooooo!! You took that well. I welcome death.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Nerd tryouts.

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

Gerald Ratner's return

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"I'll give you a moment."

The imagery attacks the compalcency of the casual web surfer and uses a visual cacophony of discordant images to excite and enthusethe casual visitor...

'Can you show me on this dolly what Bill Gates did to your computer?'

Websiteless -- please help.

'I flunked English, but I got an A for blogging.'

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

'I cam for your obsolete operating system.'

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

'Let's put it this way, your Billy is the only kid in class without his own website,,,'

1080P New Year's Resolution

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'