Website Wizard Gifts

"I'm constructing a website."

'Just like the website, lots of visitors, few conversions.'

'Why would I want to think our site stinks?'

'They say content is king, but right now my king has no subjects.'

"Everyone has a website these days."

"What am I, like the only dwarf who doesn't have his own website?"

"We're calling our son Wikipedia, so if he grows up with no entries, he'll at least have his name working for him.'

Online greetings cards.

'I sold enough of my blood to keep our website up for another week. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pass out.'

'After last night's Mexican dinner, my gut isn't talking to me.'

Big frog in a small pond.com

'Let's put it this way, your Billy is the only kid in class without his own website,,,'

'This is depressing, the Pro Bowl had more hits than my website.'

"Word got out that our family website doesn't end in .com. How could I ever go back to school and face the humiliation."

"What do you think of my comedy site?"

"I've already had five hits this year."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"We only got six days of funding."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Lovely dovetail."

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

Waiting for retirement.

Targets.

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'He will observe your text now...'

Gerald Ratner's return

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"