Content Wizard Gifts

'I'm five weeks behind in my blog.'

How's the exciting, glamorous and sexy world of the blogosphere treating you, Lars? It's all those things, Axel, but unfortunately, it's not financially rewarding

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

'He will observe your text now...'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Gerald Ratner's return

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

"Making us more mobile friendly didn't mean letting the general public use our car park, Smithers."

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Can you redo this manuscript, John, and make it less stupid?'

'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

'My app just ate your widget.'

'We've always needed an accounting magician.'

Websiteless -- please help.

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

C Day Lewis.