Web Wizard Gifts

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'Yeah, very impressive - but can you improve my website's Search Engine Ranking?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"I wish whoever hacked my site would let me know what my password is."

The internet providing marketing, research, and data collection.

"I tell you, he's up to no good. He spends hours on the dark web."

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'A picture is usually worth a 1000 words, but on your mobile site it's worth 800 words.'

"What if I put a couple of exclamation points at the end?"

"What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away."

'This new technology allows you to track reaction to your site's content.'

I'm going to recommend a tech company that is so far ahead of the curve, it's working on Web 3.0.

'I need a web presence.'

'You don't like my metatags?' - 'All you've done is written 'bananas' four hundred times.'

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

I have a homepage, therefore I am.

"I have a website because I need a part time job to supplement my income."

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

'Looks like the income off of our site has went from passive to comatose.'

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

'You do good web design, but there's not a lot of variety in it.'

"How come some media companies are so shy of web recruitment?" "Anorak-naphobia?"

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

"My website has fewer impressions than Frank Caliendo."

The imagery attacks the compalcency of the casual web surfer and uses a visual cacophony of discordant images to excite and enthusethe casual visitor...

"Sorry, but bankruptcy.com is out of business too!"

Visit my website

Almost everybody has web-site.

'What do you mean I'm blocked from getting 'Boys Gone Wild' on this?'

"Looks like business is picking up."

"Let me put it this way. Don't bother updating your website."

"Here we e-go, here we e-go, here we e-go!"

Come up and visit my web site sometime.

Gerald Ratner's return