Software Wizard Gifts

"And I can install the latest version of Microsoft as well as Word and 17 other applications!"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

If Disney was a software company

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

Man doing a search on a computer

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

Why do you need so many computers?

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

Deadline

Frankenstein's Monster's PC.

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

FRY's FAMILY - Young Tom was always fiddling around with bits of machinery.