Security Wizard Gifts

"Rumpelstiltskin is too long for a password!"

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

'Your father installed a security system.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

If Disney was a software company

Man doing a search on a computer

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

Why do you need so many computers?

"Baldo, why don't you turn that computer off and do something else?"

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

'Marmaduke! What did you do?!!?'