Work Wizard Gifts

Workaholic and Paranoid

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"We only got six days of funding."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Lovely dovetail."

Failure/Due Diligence

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

Texturing the Walls

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Waiting for retirement.

Targets.

Business cartoon about an incentive to complete the paperwork.

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Gerald Ratner's return

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

Empty/Full

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

Aftermath: Hostile Takeover,

The Move.

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

Tech support...can I help you!

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"