Workplace Wit Wizard Gifts

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"We only got six days of funding."

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

I'm a self-made man!

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

Miss America IQ Pageant

How are you at decision making?

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Lovely dovetail."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

Desk trays - 'In', 'Out', and 'It depends'.

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

Research and Development: Now, Never.

Waiting for retirement.

In - Out - Pending.

Targets.

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Stationery Shop