Workplace Whiz Gifts

"The parent company feels you're slacking off so they want you to take a time out."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Staff support"

Out and In.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'Keep asking for more allowance. It's good practice for negotiating future stock and option grants.'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

'Those are my twins: NASDAQ and Dow. They were born at the height of the dot.com boom.'

I've always been slower than computers...

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'