Workplace Whiz Pillows

"The parent company feels you're slacking off so they want you to take a time out."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Staff support"

Out and In.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Keep asking for more allowance. It's good practice for negotiating future stock and option grants.'

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

I've always been slower than computers...

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

"What's that you're reading?"

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!