Wedding Planning Wizard Gifts

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

Wedding Invites

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Boat wedding.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'He does.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

"...until death do you a favor."

'I always cry at weddings!'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

Wedding disaster #27.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"