Wedding Wizards Pillows

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"My mistress loves me alright: I was the ring-bearer at her wedding..."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Boat wedding.

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

Shakespeare Quote

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

Spell-Check Bee

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

Danae's Prescient Auto-Biography: '...My prescient autobiography is a publisher's dream...no need for fact-checking!'

"Are we their yet?"

We have skule clothes.

The Uber Wedding Planner: 'Ok, we're almost there...we just need a clarification on the whether the 'till death do us part' clause is meant literally or figuratively.'

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

"It's eagle before snake except after feather."

'Were there any new buzzwords created while I was out to lunch.'

"So,what's so important that you want me to give you a couple of hours off work this afternoon?"

"I'll have a vole, please Carol"

Author of thought for the day on commitment remains anonymous.

"We can go with the hormone-replacement therapy or skip straight to the husband replacement."

"My client can't help his verbal obfuscation. He's suffering from straightforwardness dysfunctionality."

Les Fleurs Du Mal