Wedding Announcement Gifts

"Don't freak out - it's just a save-the-date."

"The Bolsons are pleased to announce that their daughter, Naomi,is going to take another shot at marriage."

Save the Date

Annoucement

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

A little bird told me...

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

New arrival

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Smartphone Sonogram

Baby name suggestions.

'Mom says she has a souffl

"Hurray! I just got born!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.