Announcement Of Pregnancy Gifts

"I'm not sure that we can call that a 'work accident'."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

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'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

A little bird told me...

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

New arrival

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Smartphone Sonogram

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Baby name suggestions.

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Hurray! I just got born!"

'Mom says she has a souffl

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

"This could be quite boring. No club jumper, no theme song and no pie nights!"

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."