Announcement Of Pregnancy Gifts

"I'm not sure that we can call that a 'work accident'."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

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'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

Next gen pregnancy tests.

A little bird told me...

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

New arrival

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Baby name suggestions.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Smartphone Sonogram

"Hurray! I just got born!"

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

Uterus: One size fits all.

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."