Baby Announcement Gifts

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

A little bird told me...

"William and Kate are having another baby, I'm just saying."

"Are you going to have a baby too, Uncle Fred?"

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

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Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

New arrival

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Baby name suggestions.

Smartphone Sonogram

"Hurray! I just got born!"

'Mom says she has a souffl

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

Baby reaching food using building blocks.

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'