Announcing A Birth Gifts

'Did you Google me before I was born to see if I was going to be a boy or a girl?'

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

baby sweetcorn...

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Next gen pregnancy tests.

A little bird told me...

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

New arrival

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

'Mom says she has a souffl

Baby name suggestions.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Hurray! I just got born!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Smartphone Sonogram

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."