Announcement Of A Pregnancy Gifts

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

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'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

A little bird told me...

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

New arrival

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Baby name suggestions.

Smartphone Sonogram

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

"Hurray! I just got born!"

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'Mom says she has a souffl

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

"How unprofessional. There's no brochure on the services and facilities I can expect in here."