Pregnancy Announcement Gifts

'Baby on board.'

"#$%& fertility drugs!"

'Don't worry they normally look like little humas during the early scans.'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Nurse forgets her husband's birthday'

'Be advised that I am not going to consider those who don't bring their resume!'

'The tests show it's a boy.. we can't tell whether he'll vote Republican or not.'

"Are we there yet?"

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

Please take a number...

Doctors talking about ways to confuse patients with jargon.

"She's beautiful! Do you think she'd go out with me?"

'It's a queen? You mean you can tell that about him already?'

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

Sperm Race, "First one there's a big cry baby!"

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

Customer Relationship Management at Surf City Hospital

'Geez you two... get a womb!'

Inn Closed for Xmas.

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

"What hope have I got with all mum's midnight snacks!"

"Hold on, I see more than one. It looks like tater tots!"

"Phil, darling, I had to engage a seamstress today."

"No, it's not for Bundles for Britain. Guess again."

"No, Todd — I’m not ‘fronting,’ I'm pregnant!"

"I'm pregnant."

"We have big news!"

"I'm thinking of getting pregnant to avoid houseguests."

"I can't be pregnant. I just bought new shoes!"

"Yep. Looks like I'm pregnant again."