Baby Announcement Pillows

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

A little bird told me...

"William and Kate are having another baby, I'm just saying."

"Are you going to have a baby too, Uncle Fred?"

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

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Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

We tried rocking her to sleep, but she still seems tired and cranky.

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

New arrival

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"Hurray! I just got born!"

Uterus: One size fits all.

'Mom says she has a souffl

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Baby name suggestions.

Smartphone Sonogram

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."