Newborn Announcement Pillows

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

Halloween Mobile

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"His first out-of-body experience."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

baby sweetcorn...

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Late night teddy reading

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

A mother and baby elephant

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

The No No No's

Twenty-first century baby walker