Warrior Of Wit Pillows

'If the world conquest thing doesn't work out, my fall-back plan is business school.'

Miss America IQ Pageant

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Soldier armed with a pen.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

'Coleridge'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

"You make a great point."

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

'Always the wise guy.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

Science vs. Literature, an Eternal Battle.

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."