Office Witticism Warrior Pillows

'That's McAfferty, the company's new efficiency expert. He's been sniffing out sacred cows and empty suits all week!'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

Call Your Office

K9 Literati.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"I'm listing my deadlines by due date so I can miss them in chronological order."

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

Knights of the iPhone

Witty T-Shirt Guy

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

'Since you were late to work so often, we should have given the watch when you started 43 years ago.'

"Dear Bad-Karma, to assist you at this busy time, I've drawn up a list of people you may have missed."

'Remember, my son -- the longest journey begins with a single slither.'

Neither Here nor There

'When I said you will get an office with windows, I was referring to the operating system on the computer.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'Congratulations, Henderson -- I'm promoting you from henchman to crony.'

"No, you can't borrow my pen."

"Just when the glass ceiling's become the glass floor we have to worry about upskirting."

Garbage is a collector's item.

'Your HMO won't cover injuries stemming form office politics.'

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

Truth seeker seeking knowledge sees different levels of gurus.

'What do you mean, you found a loophole in Nirvana?'