Wealthy Wit Pillows

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

"Where do you get your inspiration?"

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

"Hi...Marvin Ramage - composer/ arranger/ musician author and rich."

Greece Idyll

G.K. Chesterton.

Can we see our way clear to doing something about air pollution?

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Looking Daggers

Exercise and diet at the same time - open and close your refrigerator door 100 times.

'You give me flintstones. If great light climbs up sky again tomorrow, I keep stones. If great light don't climb up sky, you lose stones.'

The hardest instrument to play second fiddle.

'I should warn you - all our 'non-loaded' funds are alcohol free.'

"They call the dollar stable and you know what's in the stable."

"As you know, Ed, my pockets are considerably deeper than yours. Therefore, in addition to my share I'll be needing a percentage of yours."

Ex-Banker: Can you spare the price of a cup of tea? Anything else is a bonus.

"Yeah, we thought about having kids, but we didn't want to give up our lifestyle."

"Do you realize that they pay our teacher to come to school every day and we do it for free?"

'I want to make just enough money so everyone will hate me.'

"And is there any particular reason Mrs Muglewump for you wanting to divorce your 93 year old billionaire husband?"