Lover Of Wit Pillows

G.K. Chesterton.

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

'You're smarter than you look? -- well, I should HOPE so!'

'Oh no. How are you going to get it out of that little hole?'

'It's sensational! Your paintings are selling like you're already dead!'

"Marriage is like a migraine. Once it's gone, you begin to miss it."

"I love you Clive, but I do wish your brain was bigger than a nut."

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

"I love this time of year."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"Sir? - it's clowntime."

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

Spiv

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

Wanted: dishwasher or handsome rich guy.

"You're not in the gym Gary!"

"I'm suffering from TeaParytyitis."

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

Sex Score

"You really miss the old grandfather, don't you dear."

"Let's go in here. Word has it that his cave drawings are nothing but nudes."

Mitch Decides to Take A 15 Minute Coffee Break To Voice His Opinion.

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

'This building inspector is so darn obstinate and bullheaded.'

Home Business - Wife.