Warfare Witticist Gifts

"Munitions. I ordered a shipment of munitions."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Putin and Zelensky

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Soldier armed with a pen.

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

The Jerry Scarer

"Hot Pocket"

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

The Use of Cavalry

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

Napoleon marches off alone

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

American's Funniest Invasion Strategies.

Defence Cuts: 'This is getting serious Sergeant, bring up the re-enforcements!'

General's Coin Toss

Iron clad sailors

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

Precisely Inprecise

The Sinking of the Moskva

I love invading Switzerland, just for the hot chocolate.

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

Witty T-Shirt Guy

"The bomb destroys only all life but not object! This means that our troops can have fun plundering and pillaging. War doesn't have to be inhuman, right?"

The Unknown Military Contractor

Siege of Charleston - Sinking of Monitor USS Weehawken in High Seas

'I think this is a bit over the top.'

"Someday man will find a peaceful use for my machines."