Wallet Watcher Gifts

Sky Diver Losing His Wallet.

'Economy size?' 'No, I'll take the small expensive size I can afford!'

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

'Next on the five O'clock news, a consumer report on how to protect what's in your wallet.'

'Rats, I don't have any change either...'

Gas prices

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

"Rest assured we invest your money as if it were our own. Can I borrow 50 bucks?"

"I'd have gotten you a nicer card if you'd had more money in your wallet."

Woman crying about her car repair bill.

Great Chinese Dynasties

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Maybe clean out your wallet

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Rising Gas Prices

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.