Waist Watcher Gifts

Waste Thinner

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Squirrel on the beach

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Beware of falling Humpty Dumpties.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

High Pants/Low Pants.

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Fat man on scales.

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"

Scales

"Thanks again, kid!"