Weight Watch Gifts

"How do you do it, Doris? You eat eighty pounds of grass a day, and still manage to look so slim!"

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Time for vacation, time for work.

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Scales

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Fat man on scales.

"Your clock watching and staring into space skills are top notch!"

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'