Weight Watching Gifts

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

'Arrgh! Two fat ladies!'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

'Every time I go on a diet, some kind of physiological disturbance kicks in that sends me off on a feeding frenzy.'

Elephant and large lady both balancing on the scales. They weigh the same.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

No thanks, Bill, I'm allergic to chocolate. It makes me break out in pounds.

I decided to put the scale someplace where it would do some good!

'I knew there was a catch. Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight servings.'

Woman and scale

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Dieting Motivation.

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

Fat man on scales.

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

Scales

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."