Wallet Wizard Gifts

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

I lost my wallet here. Could you check lost and found? Sure. What's it look like? Oh, it's leathery, canvas, nylon-ish … blue-black gray-purpley-greenish … it has a Visa-Mastercard-Amex-Discoverish cards and one-ten-fivey dollars in it. I keep an I.D. of a dear friend in it for sentimental reasons. Get out.

Maybe clean out your wallet

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Profit

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

The Shrinking Dollar.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Money exchange

Saving for College.

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.