Wallet Warrior Gifts

Eight Attempts at remembering PIN or less.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

'Not so fast, when I said open wide I meant your wallet.'

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

High electricity prices

"What term do I want for the loan? Long enough to get out of the gas station!"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Maybe clean out your wallet

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Rising Gas Prices

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

"So I misplaced a couple hundred Bitcoin. Maybe the dog ate the wallet. I din't know. S**t happens!"

"We got the cactus account!"

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

Breaking Through

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

The rich, the poor and the terrorist...