Money Management Wizard Gifts

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Maybe clean out your wallet

The Shrinking Dollar.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'