Budget Watcher Gifts

"Once upon a time there was a thing called social security..."

'Enough about your furlough, don't you want to hear about my furlough?'

Doctor uses his stethoscope on the patient's wallet.

'He joined the party in support of the police cuts.'

'Honesty is the best policy since I can't afford a slick lawyer.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

Percentage Lifetime Income.

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"You can be helped or you can be safe - you can't have both!"

Budget: No increase in duty on beer and fags.

Cuts in UK economy.

Budget cuts

Gas prices.

'Hope that Medicare will kick in to help with my developing headache pain!'

'I wish they could get beyond this fiscal cliff, so they could move on to the next fiscal cliff.'

"I'ts funny -- These days, a plan to make things get worse more slowly counts as 'reform.'"

Your new downsized national weather service forecast:

'Bummer! My phone's been disconnected...the plan I was on said the phone would pay for itself after six months.'

It cost $1299. But when you factor in the time wasted sitting in front of it, well, the real cost is enormous.

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

'Sorry we've run out of money for meds but I can offer you this fantastic free mug and fridge magnet with our new logo.'

'Honestly, he doesn't look anything like me! What do you think mini-me..er, um...I mean stranger, that I don't know from Adam?'

'The bad news is that we've had to inform clients of drastic cuts to services...We managed to do it in 17 languages!'

Managing the NHS budget

'Put like that I suppose ?16 per pound is rather inflationary.'

"Mr. Chairman, distinguished guests, Gramm, Rudman, Hollings..."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"The Pentagon is not getting nearly as much pie as they used to get."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Great Chinese Dynasties

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."