Budget Wizards Gifts

"Listen, I know our bills are behind. We're going through a hard time."

'Isn't there any way I can balance the budget without moonlighting?'

'I now come to my spending plans for the year 2002 - 2003...' (list features nappy's,rusks,toys,childminder).

"With a wave of my magic wand, I declare all government programs free."

Back to School Supplies & Small Loans

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

'The good news is that we're making huge profits - the bad news is that we won't be getting a bailout.'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."