Budget Watchers Gifts

'It's only money!'...'Better yet, it's only taxpayer money!'

Test: Guess who will suffer the most to reduce the deficit?

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

Budget

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

Money god

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).