Budget Watchers Gifts

'It's only money!'...'Better yet, it's only taxpayer money!'

Crazy But Calm

Test: Guess who will suffer the most to reduce the deficit?

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

'It's cheaper than gas.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

Budget

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

Money god

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'