Wallet Watcher Pillows

Sky Diver Losing His Wallet.

'Economy size?' 'No, I'll take the small expensive size I can afford!'

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

'Next on the five O'clock news, a consumer report on how to protect what's in your wallet.'

'Rats, I don't have any change either...'

Gas prices

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

"Rest assured we invest your money as if it were our own. Can I borrow 50 bucks?"

Woman crying about her car repair bill.

Great Chinese Dynasties

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

Rising Gas Prices

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

Money god

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'