Weight Watcher Pillows

Group of people lift elephant on seesaw

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

"And, on the lowest end of the caloric spectrum, we offer a leather chew toy."

"Whoope! I've lost a pound!"

'Too much intake - not enough burnout.'

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"Looks like the universe isn't the only thing that' s expanding!"

'I'm trying to watch my weight so I hope that's low fat!'

'A hundred and ninety pounds!'

'Over the years, class reunions have helped me lose more weight than any diet program.'

Bad news from the scales.

'Have you tried the new diet? You can eat as much as you like as long as you don't swallow!'

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

'...is really all the exercise I need to lose weight.'

In the calorie family: 'You're home early?' 'Mrs Harrison has started dieting again!'

The lying scale.

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Snake liposuction.

"That's inflation. You may have more pounds now, but you're worth less."

'It was self-defence! That nasty thing provoked me!'

Weight conscious cow

'Careful, don't bite off more than you can chew.'

"I'm the truant officer from your weight reduction class."

"Did I ACTUALLY lose weight or put too much fabric softener?"

'Your weight second opinion.'

'So does this flamingo diet have any side effects?'

"I call it 'fire' -- It's for burning calories!"

'It's no good. We have to lose more weight, and fast.'

'Sorry, that scale's not for sale. It's a special model for doctors that automatically adds 5 pounds to your weight.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.

'Here's your new diet.' - 'A stick of celery?' - 'Lick it once at breakfast, once at lunchtime.' - 'And then eat it for dinner, right?' - 'Not until Week 6' - 'Gah.'

'I'm overweight, which means we're both going on a diet!'