Wafer Warrior Gifts

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Wifi in Hell

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

WiFi Signals

Baby on board.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

GQ Magazine: Stay at Home Special.

I hate Mondays and now I'm developing an aversion to Tuesdays!

"Would it kill you to compost?"

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

"I really got used to working from home."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

'Filthy Earthlings got here before us!'

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"