Vow Veterans Gifts

"Do you take this person for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness, even without Medicare supplemental insurance?"

'Wait a minute - Shouldn't we flip a coin to see who goes first?'

"...until death do you a favor."

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

'... and do you promise to love Angela, more than she loves you?'

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

Historic Medical Moments: The first time a body rejected a heart before it was transplanted.

"Let me guess... Military, right?"

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

Entering Clogsted.

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

'Will you love, honour, and share custody of the remote control so long as you both shall live?'

Second marriage vows.

"I now mispronounce you, Mon and wafe"

"Seriously, Peggy? You want it written into our wedding vows that I'm willing to slay a dragon for you?"

'And do you, Archibald, vow to engage Gina in meaningful conversation?'

In Sickness And In Hell