Vow Visionaries Gifts

'Stop trying to change the subject!'

"Do me next."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

Virtual Reality Shop. I think our business here will expand as actual reality becomes more and more unbelievable.

"He's really excited about this new proposal to let staff take over services."

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

Louise Glück

Gone for Broke College

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

Seamus Heaney.

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"Could it be nature's way of limiting human occupation and destruction of life of Earth, Daddy?"

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'... and do you promise to love Angela, more than she loves you?'

Stanescu.

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

'And do you, Sarah, promise never to Google his ex-wife?'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Government requires that we lower the bar."

'Poet Laureate' door 'Gone to lunch-back twixt 2 &3'

"This would be a lot easier if they didn't make us include the vowels."

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

MAkIng BritAIn Great AgAIn.

'Will you love, honour, and share custody of the remote control so long as you both shall live?'