Vow Visionaries Pillows

'Stop trying to change the subject!'

"Do me next."

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Like us, the Hula Hoop will never go out of style.'

"He's really excited about this new proposal to let staff take over services."

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

Gone for Broke College

Louise Glück

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

Seamus Heaney.

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

Stanescu.

'... and do you promise to love Angela, more than she loves you?'

"Could it be nature's way of limiting human occupation and destruction of life of Earth, Daddy?"

"Government requires that we lower the bar."

"This would be a lot easier if they didn't make us include the vowels."

'Poet Laureate' door 'Gone to lunch-back twixt 2 &3'

MAkIng BritAIn Great AgAIn.

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

'Will you love, honour, and share custody of the remote control so long as you both shall live?'

'My husband wants to see your most expensive diamonds.'