Vow Innovators Pillows

'After you text 'I do'... you may kiss the bride.'

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'Either you say 'I do' or you don't -- You can't plead nolo contendere.'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

'I find the easiest way to expand my vocabulary is to make up words.'

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

'... and do you promise to love Angela, more than she loves you?'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

That special place in heaven reserved for undiscovered composers, writers and artists.

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

''Love, honor, and obey'? - This needs a REWRITE!'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

'I do, but no promises.'

'... And do you, Gavin, promise not to hog the T.V remote, for as long as you both shall live?'

'Well yes, I suppose it is a multiple-choice question'

'Will you love, honour, and share custody of the remote control so long as you both shall live?'

'Moby Dick? Let's see ... Would you like the DVD, the podcast or the interpretive dance?'

"Gee, I don't know -- You drive a hard bargain."