Vow Enjoyer Gifts

"Do you, Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure Josh takes his cholesterol lowering medication each day?"

"...until death do you a favor."

7 Dwarves of Retirement

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

'Are you kidding? Of course I take this woman - wouldn't you???'

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'

Let to water, wouldn't drink, kicked off farm.

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

'Is this a trick question?'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?' The discovery that money actually does grow on trees.

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

A fool and his money is soon someone's business partner

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'I do, but no promises.'

Son, when life gives you to someone, run, because it's not going to end well. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-04-04).

"I'm sorry - till when do us part?"

'She's waiting for her ship to come in, and I'm waiting for the cows to come home!'

Prehistoric Bird - early bird catching the worm

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you will never see him at work again."