Vow Takers Gifts

'Not having second thoughts, are we, Brother Thomas?'

The second time around they cut you a little more slack.

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"I now pronounce you man and wife - do you wish to save these changes?"

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'The penguin is upset...'

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

'Math isn't really my long suit, Mrs. Ferguson -- how about I just take a drug test?'

"You said it—everybody heard you."

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...

Boy in court swearing oath on comic book

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

'Are you kidding? Of course I take this woman - wouldn't you???'

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

"Woah! Where's it say that?"

This survey will only take five minutes and will help me improve future floods.

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

Did I cheat? You're not wearing a wire, are you?

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'Is this a trick question?'

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

'What wine goes with the Hippocratic Oath- my nephew graduated from medical school.'

Place you hand on the bible and repeat after me. Place your hand on the bible and repeat after me. No. Don't repeat that! No. Don't repeat that! Your honor, make him stop! You honor, make him stop! Another long day in juvenile court.

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

Second marriage vows.

'I don't think you'll be breaking your vow of silence if you say 'Ahh' for me just this once, brother Benedict.'