Vow Doubter Gifts

'Is this a trick question?'

"...until death do you a favor."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"All those in favor of adding another 5 billion organisms to our probiotic just for the fun of it..."

"You may now kiss the bride."

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'Are you kidding? Of course I take this woman - wouldn't you???'

"Siri, are you out of your mind?!"

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

'I do, but no promises.'

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

"I'm skipping straight to a second opinion, in the first one, I thought you were OK."

'Talk about perennial doubt?'

'Do you, Isabel, promise to give it your best shot?'

"I now mispronounce you, Mon and wafe"

"Do you, Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure Josh takes his cholesterol lowering medication each day?"

"No wine or song! That doesn't leave much does it?"

"'Present' is not an appropriate response."

The second time around they cut you a little more slack.

'Social media? There's nothing social about it!'

"Torture in Hell awaits those who question God's love!"

'Blindly following market trends generally works for me, but when it doesn't, I blame computer trading.'

DEFINE "for poorer".

'Not having second thoughts, are we, Brother Thomas?'

'According to this rubbish I'm going on a long journey.'