Vow Enthusiast Gifts

"'Present' is not an appropriate response."

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'Do you, Isabel, promise to give it your best shot?'

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

"… in sickness and in health, with no chance of parole for 25 years?"

'Don't I get to read the small print?'

'Could you put a little more emphasis on the 'for richer' part?'

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

DEFINE "for poorer".

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

"...until death do you a favor."

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

A masked man serenading

"Don't even think about it."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"If he who hesitates is lost, why do we have to look before we leap?"

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"Like they say, April lenders brings May spenders."

Heavenly voices.

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'My mother always told me if it ain't broke, date it.'

'Is this a trick question?'

Marriage counsellor with 'Better' and 'Worse' desk trays.

'The longest journey beings with a single step.' Mao would have made great congressman!

'It's always darkest just before Dawn.'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"Some guys from the state board of medicine are here to see you."