Vow Aficionado Gifts

"...until death do you a favor."

"I now mispronounce you, Mon and wafe"

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

Counsel's Opinion.

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

'How long have you had that toupee?'

Free love

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

Thesaurus Publishing: Welcome, Greetings, Salutations

"Jim, I was asking for a simple explanation, not exclamation."

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

"I am worthy of human kindness and care. I am worthy of human love and respect. I am worthy of huma rights and equality....or death to the f**king lot of 'em."

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

"I would have thought you'd be pleased."

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

"Wig or the wisp?"

The five orders of periwigs

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

Back Down

Tonsure Toupee

Strike A Balance

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."