Vow Aficionado Pillows

"...until death do you a favor."

"I now mispronounce you, Mon and wafe"

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

Counsel's Opinion.

"You may now kiss the bride."

'How long have you had that toupee?'

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

Free love

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

Thesaurus Publishing: Welcome, Greetings, Salutations

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

"Jim, I was asking for a simple explanation, not exclamation."

'Do you promise to love, honor, and kiss the bed covers goodbye?'

"I would have thought you'd be pleased."

"For better for worse. For richer for poorer. I sickness and in health....I warned you these vows were extremely graphic."

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

Back Down

"We can't scrub the 'forsaking all others' bit."

Tonsure Toupee

'Wait a minute -- aren't you going to read me my rights?'

'I refuse to say 'Cross my heart and hope to die'.'

Strike A Balance

The five orders of periwigs

"Wig or the wisp?"

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"